Future

Lately I have found myself thinking about my future a lot.

What will I do when I get out of college? Where will I live? But the question most frequently crossing my mind has been "Who will my husband be?"

I joke around all the time about going to college to get my "MRS. Degree", but half the time...I don't think I'm joking. It seems like every guy I meet I'm like "Oh is he the one? What about him? Or him?". And with every new guy friendship I have learned a lot about who I am and what kind of guy I want to marry. However, there are times when I want God to grant me with a power that will allow me to see whether or not this guy is the one for me...but unfortunately, he never does. 

I need to trust in the Lord and His plan for my life. I know, I know, I say that all the time, but just like every other time, it's just as relevant. And just like every time, I'm not doing it.

It is so hard! And I always tell myself "well if I just had a husband, trusting the Lord would be so much easier", but deep down, I know thats not true.

Through all of this craziness I have come to realize that God has blessed me with really good discernment. I don't know why, but I am so thankful. I feel like I can pick out who is real and who is fake toward me. HOWEVER, I tend to screw it up sometimes and completely ignore it if God is saying "Uh, Jessica, this is definitely not the guy." Sometimes I just blow him off, which totally ruins the whole gift of discernment.

BUT...I can now say that I have been completely up front with the guys that I do NOT want a relationship with, and it feels wonderful. That actually sounds a little harsh when I say it like that, but let it be known that I let them know in a very loving way. 

Things are complicated...but it is all going to be ok :)

P.S. The school part of college is about a million times harder than the social part....it's a proven fact.