Just thoughts...

I'm SO ready for college.

I'm not necessarily ready in the sense of getting everything together, but I'm definitely mentally ready for it. 

Or at least I think I am.

ON ANOTHER NOTE:

I was listening to this song by Sanctus Real the other day on my way to work and it was exactly what I was feeling at the moment which was crazy (God is so awesome like that).

Here are the lyrics:

It's time for healing time to move on 
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong 
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me 
All I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever you're doing inside of me 
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To... 

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me 
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me 
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me 
It feels like chaos but now I can see 
This something bigger than me 
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house 
Time breathe in and let everything out

I guess this pretty much describes my entire life right now.

I feel like lately I've been reevaluating who I am and who I want to become.

I feel like God is trying to do something in my life, I'm just not sure what. 

Stress

Stress : physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension 

I. Am. Stressed.

Why?

I feel like I have a million things to do and really little time to do it. 

Like let's see...

1. VBS stuff

2. I have to call about my dumb scholarship that they haven't sent to me yet

3. Apartment shopping (which I'm actually looking forward to, I just need to find the time)

4. Register for classes (they decided to close it until July 28th for some reason...thanks)

5. Move out of our house and into my parent's apartment

BLAH BLAH BLAH

Heaven is going to be awesome...no stress, never run out of time...it's going to be glorious :)

"Jessica, We Need to Talk" -God

OK so I talked a little yesterday about how the Lord spoke to me last week.

I got the chance to talk about it with my parents last night and it seriously led me to tears.

I didn't really know how to describe how the Lord had spoken to me, I just knew that I needed to start over in a few areas.

I finally realized that it was seeing Christ in the group of college students last week that made me want to change who I have been lately.

They reflected Christ like a mirror, and I want that so badly. 

God gave me a couple specific areas that He wants me to change in.

1. I really need to start having a DAILY quiet time again.

2. I need to make Him 100% number one in my life.

So today I read a little in Ecclesiastes 5 for my college Bible study.

Verse 7 really popped out...

"Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore, stand in awe of God."

It reminds me of the "Be still and know that I am God." verse.

It's pretty much saying "Jessica, shut up and realize how awesome I am."

I don't do that near enough. I am always running around doing something and I never seem to just stop and take in His beauty.

I just need to slow down.

Psalm 84:2 says

"My soul YEARNS, even faints for courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh CRY OUT for the living God." 

My prayer is that I will become like that, and that I will desire the Lord more than anything.

I Forgot To Mention

We sold our house last Sunday...

Am I happy?

Well, here's how it went down..

So last Sunday I was feeling pretty crumby (I had some hardcore allergies...I would go into detail, but it's quite unpleasant), and I had to skip church, so my day was already not going to well. I started doing some laundry, and my dad came prancing down the hall yelling "We sold our house!" 

I'm thinking "ok, so I missed church because my whole head is about to explode from allergies, I'm doing my laundry, and now my house is pretty much no longer mine."

Let's just say that it wasn't the greatest timing.

I think I'm fine with it now though. I had 5 hours to think and vent about it to Patty on the way to Sherman the next day (poor Patty).

But I am proud of my parents. I definitely think they are making the right choice. It's going to be an interesting adventure.

In Your Face...

So this past week I went to help out at Centri-kid.

I'm not gonna lie...I was kind of not looking forward to it because I was having to miss the mission trip to Progreso.

BUT

God is amazing...

and this week I learned so much. 

First of all...I am almost positive about what I want to do next summer. I'm thinking about being on staff for either Centri-kid or Crosspoint. Of course I have to go through the interviews and such first, but I'm really considering doing that.

Second, God revealed to me that I haven't been putting him first at all lately. I've been much more focused on college stuff, moving, and other relationships. He showed me a group of college students that loved Him more than anything, and it showed. I was blown away by how on fire they were, and I remembered that I used to be in that place also.

And I want to be there again.

God put a desire in my soul to completely start over on some things, and I am at complete peace for the first time in a long time.

God is so great. I love how He totally shows me when I'm wrong. And I'm so thankful that He made this past week a very meaningful and memorable one.

What A Week

This week was insane.

I had the AMAZING opportunity to help out at "Kidz Kamp", and it was so much fun. I had the greatest (and cutest) group of kids. 

Patty let me lead a bible study group...and that was definitely a new experience. I didn't really know what to expect, but God definitely helped me through it.

It was an outside camp...and in case you didnt know, it was about 374183904371 degrees outside every day this week. The sun definitely sucked every ounce of energy out of me...well...it left enough for me to go work out with Austin a couple of days this week.

Speaking of working out with Austin...my arms are killing me right now. That man is going to kill me, but it's good for me, so I'm not complaining.

P.S. Austin is one very muscular dude

Well, I'm going to go read Ecclesiastes 1-2 for my Bible study (which I'm completely stoked about).

:)

It's Getting Close

So it's already July...where did summer go?

It feels like August is going to be here tomorrow...and I'll be off to college in no time.

It's so weird looking around my room and thinking that I won't be sleeping in this room every night. 

It's also crazy thinking that I'm going to be on my own. I'm not gonna lie...it freaks me out a little bit.

But at the same time I'm totally stoked.

I'm pretty content with life right now. Lately I have felt that I'm actually making some good choices, and I think the Lord has given me a peace about that.

Anyway...this was super short, I know, but I must be heading to bed...I have Kidz Kamp in the morning...and I definitely don't want to be tired :)