It has been a struggle

Lately I have found myself feeling completely unorganized and confused about pretty much everything around me, and there is only one explanation...

I haven't been in the Word like I should.

Now that I'm on  my own I realize how right my parents, youth pastor, pastor, and mentors were when they told me that staying in the Word would keep me on track. I must have thought they were kidding because I didn't take them seriously. Fortunately I have learned. I learned the hard way, but it's better than not learning at all.

I met this amazing girl named Paige that has pretty much become my best friend in College Station. Although we just met, it feels like we've known each other forever.  What I really like about her is that she tells me straight up what she thinks, and last night she hit the nail on the head. We were talking about guys (shocker...haha) and she pretty much told me that I need to put the Lord first in everything I do in life. He needs to be in the middle of ALL  my relationships...whether it's a friendship or a dating relationship. It made me think about my life in general. I realized that I hadn't put the Lord first in ANYTHING I had done since I got here. Don't get me wrong, I've been to church and breakaway (a giant worship service on Tuesday nights), but when it boils down to it, that's pretty much all I've done. It hasn't been a day-to-day thing. 

Starting today, September 14th, I'm going to start putting the Lord first. I'm going to commit to being in the Word every day. I know it's going to be tough, and my prayer is that this isn't just talk, but it's real. 

I need my focus to be in the right place. I feel like so far my life in college has been meaningless, and it's not a good feeling. I want to have purpose. I want to make good decisions. I want to live for something. 

That's where I'm at...